


I'm still here

by sextustarquinius



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluffy I guess, I don't know, M/M, Or angst, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), kinda both
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 04:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19055428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sextustarquinius/pseuds/sextustarquinius
Summary: So, as the leader of the Avengers and Captain America, Steve ingrained his feet on the ground and did not allow himself to be taken down.And, after all, it was best to be in Tony’s happy ending as a friend than try to steal his heart and fuck everything up. Sed libera nos a malo, amen.





	I'm still here

**Author's Note:**

> So, the main idea isn't mine, I saw it on the Injustice universe. But I thought it totally fits in the post Endgame MCU, so I wrote this. Hope you guys enjoy!

, but now that Thanos is gone, and the dust had set down, Steve had to take the Infinite Gems back to the past. He stood in the time machine with sorrow in his heart, as heavy as the Earth, which just keeps spinning around despite of it all. Urgh, Earth, stop!

— Are you ready? — Banner asked, and he replied nodding.

And, hitting a button, he sent Steve into the quantum realm. After an explosion of colors and shapes he can't quite understand, still, but is getting a bit familiar with, Steve found himself in the so called "past". It wasn't much trouble to place the Gems back — he was Captain America after all — to their places, and, after returning the last one, Steve, waving like a flag with stripes and stars risen among corpses on a devastated land, felt ready to come back…

When he returned, however, something wasn't right, something was out of place. He arrived at the Avengers compound, which was totally _obliterated_ by Thanos. His heart started to race as his eyebrows arched in shock as his eyes started to move around trying to find a clue as his blood felt cold in his veins as he desperately ran out of breath — what do I do? — _he_ was out of place after all.

He concluded that he missed his destination in history and arrived at the wrong time. And he ran out of Pym particles, so he was stuck here — at least for a while. Phew. It's fine. Just need to find Banner or… — 

                                                                                                          Tony

                                                                                                                        — so he could help him out.

Because he’s one of the smartest people in the world. Because he’s one of Steve’s best friends. Because Steve loved him like he never loved nobody else. Steve did not love him since they first meet — unlike he always dreamed back when he was just a humble boy from Brooklyn —, but he did fell in love with him, at some point that even himself cannot recognize. But how bold of me! To think that I could have a place in his life! Tony was already in love with Pepper, they married and even had a kid at some point. I have no right to mess his life, his happiness… So, as the leader of the Avengers and Captain America, Steve ingrained his feet on the ground and did not allow himself to be taken down.

And, after all, it was best to be in Tony’s happy ending as a friend than try to steal his heart and fuck everything up. _Sed libera nos a malo, amen_.

Steve walked around with great security. Every room, every hall, every door was familiar to him, the exact same way that he remembered. The environment embraced him, calmed rough seas inside his head, incubated some hope that bloomed in his heart. Suddenly, he wasn’t so out of place. Even the air had that same smell — a smell of artificially conditioned air.

— FRIDAY, I need a… — a familiar voice crossed the air straight to Steve’s ear, making him freeze in where he stood.

Tony was there, standing right before his eyes. Steve’s heart started beating in nother frequency, a held back eagerness to just hug him tight, because his lines flowed to Tony like the lines of a pyramid flow to its peak. They always did. But he closed his hands into fists and tensed his jaw only. Tony, on the other hand, petrified like cooling magma: paralysed he dropped the device he was holding with his right hand, taking it right away to his mouth to prevent himself from screaming, his eyes got teary and he started to tremble slightly… he paled like he was facing a ghost.

They stood under all the spotlights, separated from the rest of the world, but it didn’t take so long for a _deus ex machina_ to send a lightning bolt over Tony’s head, crumbling down all his towers. As soon as Steve saw quiet tears rolling down Tony’s face and heard some suppressed sobs, he gave in: he stepped forward and took Tony in his arms, because it felt right, because it was going to last. And they both felt enchanted by this touch.

Which is rare for Tony. _Stark men are made of iron_ Tony once told him. In a brief moment, Steve realised that the men he was holding in his arms actually deserved to be the risen flag. Because, more than just a peaceful wave in the breeze, Tony could offer way much more for everyone. After a deep breath, with blurred eyes, Tony spoke lowly:

— You’re not from ‘round here… — he sobbed again — right?

Here?

— Not from this time — Steve said. — Guess the uniform kind expose it, right?

Tony pulled away a bit and looked him in the face and, quietly, asked him:

— Follow me, please.

As they walked through the corridors, Steve noticed that Tony didn’t stop crying, so he kept up always a few steps behind, giving him some space, he wasn’t the Tony he knew, after all. The two of them made their to the outside, right where they had fought against Thanos. Tony extended his steps as soon as they stepped outside, walking even faster than before. From afar, Steve could see something stuck on the ground — a rotten flag, a symbolic memory of a victory devoured by the time — Captain America’s shield, or at least, what was left of it.

The two of them stood there a few moments, staring at the object on the ground. Steve felt numb again, that familiar and natural sense — he, as anybody else, can recognize the end. He avoided Tony’s gaze when he heard:

— It’s here… This is right where you died — his voice seemed to disappear into the breeze, like he was speaking underwater. Then, he fell in tears again. Steven tried his best, but he couldn’t understand what was going on. He didn’t died, he just had gone into the quantum realm to return to another point of history. Is it possible that…?

— Uh, I’m sorry to ask, but what day is today? — Steve asked embarrassed.

— May, 1st, 2019. — Tony replied, already calming down.

2019? This is exactly the day I left! How is it possible for anyone to think that I died?! I got really injured, for sure, but I hit Thanos several times too! I endured even more than the vibranium in my shield, which was tore apart. And how about Tony? He’s the one who died! He took the Gems and used them against the bad guys. And, sadly, he died to save the planet… he gave everything he had — everything, despite his wife, despite his family and friends — he gave everything to protect us. Yet still here he is, standing right before my eyes, like nothing has happened! How? How is that possible?!

— I’d taken the Gems from Thanos — Tony started, thick sorrow in his voice —, but, when I was about to use them, you took them from me and died in my place — he paused and started to play with a ring on his left hand. — I still use this and, to be honest, I think I’ll never throw it out.

Steve took a step forward and touched softly the other man’s hand and recognized right away a wedding ring on Tony’s finger. In it carved _amor tuus meam vitam alatur_ and the initials T.S... Steve’s mouth went dry and, unconsciously, he started to squeeze Tony’s hand in his. Wha-- what is happening, actually? Is it possible that his time travel changed the course of history? Tony-- Tony never — _ever_ — looked at me like that... I didn’t --- I ‘m still here… And he’s here too… A lot of lines of impossibilities were shocking against each other at this moment. Desire and lust suddenly getting lower around them, alone under the spotlights. There was a heartening familiarity in being this close.

— You’re definitely not from ‘round here — Tony whispered close to Steve mouth. — I missed you, Mr. Rogers.

                                                                                                                  BOOM

Lips touched like rain touching the ground, a heavenly touch that led Steve’s hands to Tony’s waist. A taste of pink sunset dripped off their mouths and the Earth could be heard spinning. There was a line which was blurred by passion and affection. Desire. Tony's tongue set Steve's blood on a polychromatic fire that grew bigger than the sun while both hearts danced through space and time.

Slowly, they kissed each other.

— Tony-- I--…

— Sorry about that... _God_ , I'm so sorry… — Steve didn't let Tony go when he tried to step back. The two of then stared each other in the eyes for a few seconds.

— Tony, please… Wha-- what's going on?

— Well, I'd like to know as much as you do. There are a lot of possibilities: you could even have returned from the dead--

— Tony — Steve interrupted annoyed, and after a breath, he replied:

— Well, I’m not sure — Tony shrugged. — But I think that during your time traveling, instead of shrinking and arriving in another point in history, you’ve arrived at another point in the _multiverse_.

Steve blinked in silence.

— I did not believe in it too… Until I saw you here — Tony pointed to the piece of shield on the ground... _Memento mori_ it whispered — Or is it possible that you came back from the dead?

— Nah, not dead at all.

— Yeah — Tony reassured. — I can feel it…

Steve released Tony’s waist nervously, embarrassed, trying to draw in strong colors a line again, and stepped back running out of breath due to the huge amount of apologizes he said. Tony didn’t help but laugh, in a way that even himself couldn’t remember he did. In a way that only Steve made him do. His right hand rested in the other’s chest before he said:

— Listen, about the kiss… I don’t know what kind of relationship you had with _your_ Tony — should I _gulp_ at that? —, but I--

Tony turned his head abruptly to the piece of shield on the ground, working like a cross trying to communicate some salvation… but even more — it pointed out, every day, the void of the missing piece in the middle of the thing and the cracks around it. Tears rolled down Tony’s face again, but in the first sob, Steve glimpsed two paths opening before him like the milky way shining through the dark void of space. His heart and soul shouted what was the right thing to do.

— Tony, listen… — Steve said, landing a hand on Tony’s shoulder — You were right. I’m not _your_ Steve… but you’re still Tony Stark, a person I know very well... — cheesy, oh my gosh, what am I even saying?

Tony calmed himself down by taking a deep breath, his eyes were watching carefully Steve’s words. Rogers got lost in his eyes a little, but soon he returned to what he was saying and concluded:

— Tony, I don’t know why — Steve placed his hand on Tony’s face —, but my heart’s telling me to stay here. By your side.

— Wha-- What do you mean? — Tony asked while rubbing the tips of his fingers in his eyes. Steve chuckled.

— Not even I know… You said I’m gone, but I’m still here, right?... I just-- I just wasted years being... consumed... by my love for you, Tony. And I wasn’t at least able to save you… I _failed_ you, Tony… and… and I feel like… like I can’t do that again — it was Steve’s turn to sob and cry. A few moments of silence passed before Tony asked:

— The other me died?

Steve just nodded before he felt arms wrapped around him, in a hug. He suddenly felt strangely numb and calm: like a light white cloud, hovered over his head the awareness that he wouldn’t be discarded like broken glass. Tony built himself around him like a home in the simple act of a hug. Even though in countless universes, countless Steves and Tonies fought each other, sexed each other, protected each other, loved each other, lied a conviction beneath their feet: they marked each other’s existence so deeply that, regardless of the circumstances, they were fated to meet each other.

— It’s okay, Steve. You can stay. I just wonder if it’s--

— No — Steve interrupted. — No doubts for now. I belong by your side, and that is all we need to know — Tony didn’t complain and just enjoyed the hug.

The antidote for a restless soul is finding completeness in its fate, after all.


End file.
